Pulling myself together. Or something.

So the quitting smoking thing didn't work out so well. Though now I can see that my biggest trigger is boredom.

*sigh*

I am definitely going to be smoke free before my birthday. That will mean I have spent a year of my life smoking. It's not that bad, I guess. I think that, for me, it is less an addiction and more an oral fixation. I think it will get easier to quit when it starts warming up a little, because one thing that always works to combat cravings is going for a jog, but it's too damn cold out right now. Though, the people in the apartment below us moved out the other day, so I can do jumping jacks and such now without getting reprimanded or making noise.

I have a couple smokes left in the pack that I have. I am going to give it another go when they are gone.

I just have to stay positive!

 

In other news, the pain in my jaw has all but gone away. I got a night guard at Rite-Aid for a couple bucks. It was awkward to sleep in (It makes me drool. Gross) But it sure helped a lot. My jaw still pops and sometimes gets 'stuck' but I can live with it, as long as it doesn't hurt. Since this whole ordeal I have begun to notice that I do clench my jaw quite often. I don't really grind, but I do clench. Now that I notice it I can stop it when I do, but dang. I never realized how much stress I carry in my jaw. I am so freaking tired or oral issues though. At age 18 I am pretty sure I have seen my fair share of dentist/orthodontist chairs.

 

My writing is so scatter brained. I'm sorry for the lame posts. Really.

 

Oh! I found The Body Sacred, the second book written by the marvelous Dianne Sylvan, at the library! I have been looking for that book everywhere! I have almost finished reading it already. It's so great. I also got a horror novel by James Reese. It is pretty creepy. I like it so far but I can see myself losing interest if I don't read it quickly. When I went to the library I was pretty sure that I had a fine, I had turned in my last books a couple of days late, but I didn't owe any money! It was probably a mistake on the part of the library, but I'm not complaining.

 

I just realized that I left my coffee in the microwave. I'm sure it's cold again. Scatter brained, I'm telling you!

Project Filter

I am quitting smoking.

 

Today is day three. I should have started with a post on day one but I didn't think about it. It is probably a good idea to post updates about it on here for accountability.

So far it really hasn't been that bad. I mean, I know the craving will get worse before they get better but I am doing pretty well I think. I am just trying to stay nice and distracted, also I am trying not to watch too many movies because seeing people in movies smoking makes me want one, I guess. lol.

I feel like making some lists. Lists are cool. First I'll make a list of triggers then a list of things that help with cravings.

Triggers

• Riding in the car
• being around/seeing other smokers
• boredom
• feeling ugly
• impatience
• over eating

Coping Mechanisms

• Do crunches
• Eat skittles
• knit
• play guitar
• write
• take a shower
• sleep it off
• play a game
• call/talk to Dalin
• have a nibbly snack

Hmm, that's all I can think of right now. I am sure I will come up with more triggers, it seems like living is itself a trigger. Haha.

So yeah, keep me honest.