A question for you

Guys, I am so disappointed in myself. It's already February and I have yet to finish that sock that I started knitting again at the beginning of the year. I haven't cheated on the sock with any other of my shiny WIPs though, so the project monogamy resolution is still going strong. I just haven't been knitting.

Or blogging, obviously. I'm such a sucky blogger. I really am.

I will have you know, however, that instead of knitting or blogging, I've spent January 2011 reading. Which definitely qualifies as an edifying and worthwhile investment of time. I'm up to my eyeballs in books these days and I'm loving it.

So far this year I have read two books, one about eco-feminist catholics and one about the use of prayer beads in different traditions and I've been keeping up with the daily mass readings and the liturgy of the hours. Right now I am reading a book on the history of prayer from homoerectus to modern day religious folks called Prayer: a history (I wonder if anyone else thinks of Hermione Granger when they hear that title)

That certainly qualifies as a lot of reading in my opinion.

On a related note, here's a question for you: Gentle blog reader, I seek merely to please you with my writing, as you know. In order for me to better serve you, I need to know what you want from me. Are you interested in my spiritual stumblings? Do you care about my knitting? I know lots of my readers are family, do you want more pictures of Roxie Max and Salem? Every time I write a new post I feel a little bit nervous. When I write about religious stuff I'm worried that I'll offend someone or seem like some kind of mystical hippy fruit loop. When I write about knitting I'm worried that I'm boring the pants off non-knitters. When I write about Dalin or Roxie or the kitties I'm worried that no one cares about my freaking dog. Ya know?

Could all this worrying be the product of an overly anxious mind? It's possible.

But still, I want to know. Please leave a comment with any thoughts about what you'd like to see here.

A very glum, very foggy, very drippy sort of day.

Howdy, friends! It’s a very glum, very foggy, very drippy sort of day today. My camera is cheap enough to really need a sunshine-y day to take good pictures, so pardon the photo quality in this post.

Since my last post, I figured out what was wrong with my sock. I think I have managed to fix it so that it looks good enough for me. It’s not perfect and my socks will be *slightly* different, but I’m okay with that. I love knitting, and I love wearing knitted socks, so these socks are Enough. I haven’t gotten too far on the sock, I’m still decreasing the gusset stitches after the heel. (I’d show you a picture but I can’t get a good enough photo in this light. Use your imagination. ^^ ) I haven’t started any other craft projects though, so I am still on track for my goal of finishing up the unfinished projects in my closet. Now that I think of it, glum, foggy, drippy sorts of days make good days for knitting socks. I’ll probably get pretty far on it today!

Two new things came into my house since my last post. Books! Two of them! D and I noticed a new used book shop in town, I don’t know how new it actually is, but we had never seen it before. It’s a really sweet little shop. As is expected, there is a huge selection of paperback romance novels and westerns, but there is also a respectable collection of philosophy, religion, and poetry.

 

This is a Big Red Book that I had to have. It’s like an encyclopedia of Ballet. For each ballet it gives the opening dates, principal dancers, stage directions, and any cultural notes. It’s fun to sit on the floor with your legs crossed and this Big Red Book on your lap.

Maybe I will live to see all of these ballets!

This is the other book I got. The store owner gave it to me for half off when he saw how my face lit up when I saw this little book sitting innocently on the shelf. It’s a Sunday missal (or catholic prayer book) and I am madly, deeply, in love with it. I’ve spent at least five cumulative hours in it and I’ve only had the book for a day. I have a feeling that this book and I are going to become good friends.

Talk again soon!

-Alek

Resolutions!

Hey everyone. I know it's been a long time since I've written anything here. I will have you know, however, that updating the blog regularly is my top New Years resolution.

I plan on having at least one new post a week. Well, that's the bare minimum I have in mind, ideally I'd like to have a couple new posts a week. I am thinking of a few topis to do series on. For example, I want to start a series of posts about Paganism as it applies to homemaking and wifely stuff, so let's say I decide to write a post about that every Wednesday. But then I could have another series (I'm thinking “Knitting as a Spiritual Practice” is one I want to do, too) running at the same time, with new posts on Saturdays. See, that way I can have lots of new posts about stuff that I am really into, and not so many of the boring “look what I did today” kind of posts.

So yeah, looking forward to that. Definitely expect a new level of blog commitment from me in the coming year.

Another resolution involves the many in-progress craft projects sitting in my closet. I have left at least 15 projects unfinished ranging from spinning to knitting to quilting. It's pretty sad really. There's nothing wrong with any of these projects, I just got bored of them and abandoned them at some point. So my goal is to work on getting many of them done this year. Maybe all of them, but I don't know if that is being too ambitious. In order to work through them with some sense of direction, the plan is to be completely project monogamous all year, and documenting the entire thing here.

Project monogamy is something that I've never been good at. What it means to be project monogamous is to only work on ONE project at a time, until it is completely finished, before moving on to the next. If you know me very well you know that I have a terribly short attention span when it comes to crafts. I think it will definitely help me to knock out some of these old projects.

That should be fun. I think I'll post updates about what I'm working on weekly, or maybe monthly or something. I don't know yet. Expect a super exciting post sometime in early Janurary documenting all of my poor abandoned projects, for all the world to see. It's actually kind of embarassing. Then you all will know how scatterbrained I truly am. The shame! Haha...

Anyway..

I'm really excited about the coming year! I know I have been far from the best blogger, but I'm really appreciative of all the readers I do have, and hope you all will stick with me as I try to make writing and blogging a bigger part of my life.

Homeowner Pride.

I love my new home. I love everything about it. I love it so much that it's difficult for me to write about it in proper paragraph form. So, bullet points it is.

 

• I love that the sun shines in through the sliding glass door that leads to the backyard in the morning. My medication plus my general apathy tends to make it difficult for me to get out of bed in the morning. It is so much easier when I think "I just have to make it to the kitchen table, where I can drink coffee and write or read or stare off into space while the sun shines in my eyes." It's fabulous. I'm doing it right now, in fact. Mornings are spectacular here. My neighbors have a huge willow tree that we can see from that back door and right now it is yellow and odd-looking with new growth. It's been a windy past few days (or weeks..) and the willow tree makes it bearable, because it's just so lovely in the breeze.
• I love that I have a yard. The other day I took out an old sheet and some pillows and a book (Cold Mountain, if you must know, it's beautiful) and read out in the sun for hours. I moved here from an upstairs apartment, so having grass at my toes is new and exciting for me. I love laying down in the lawn and inhaling deeply, smelling the lovely scent of fresh baby grass and the earthy musk of dead winter grass together.
• I love how bright my home is. Large windows in every room, glass doors, and an airy, open floorplan make for a cheerful home indeed. It is very rarely dull and dark in my home as it so often was in the apartment.
• I love, love, LOVE, not having downstairs "neighbors," in fact, I love not having neighbors just on the other side of the wall at all. Our neighbors are now at lawn's length away with a fence between. This means I can crank up the volume to any music I damned well please without worrying about being judged poorly on my music taste by at least three households. It means I can vacuum at midnight if I feel the need. It means that I (and the kids I babysit) can run and jump and make noise all we want. It means I can be as loud as I want when having sex with my husband without imagining the creepy guy next door listening. I finally feel like I live in a place that is "mine" and I can honestly and truly do as I please there.
• I love that I'm allowed to decorate my home. Which isn't to say that I've gotten around to any decorating yet, but it makes me happy to know that I can. I can put as many nails in the walls as I want and can also paint those walls any color that suits my fancy. I can get crazy carpet installed if I want. It's MY house, after all.
• I love that I can do my own laundry now. In the apartment there was a laundry room down by the office, but we never used it. Instead we wore all of our clothes until we literally had NO clean clothes left, then we'd haul all of our dirty laundry to my mother in law's house and sit there all day doing nothing but laundry. Now washing clothes fits pretty much seamlessly into a normal day. It's so great. You have no idea.
• Most of all I just love that my home is really my own. I don't have to share it with intrusive neighbors or a landlord, only my husband and my cats. I can do just as I please to and in and around the house. I can be myself and change my surroundings to reflect my personality. I can be proud when inviting people over. I have privacy and freedom.

 

So for anyone who's wondering "How's life in the new house?"

 

It's fantastic.

Holidays. I like them.

Hey guys, sorry I didn't post at all during the holidays. I just didn't think to. Dalin, the cats, and I had a really good solstice/christmas this year. We even had a tree! Here's Dalin putting the finishing touches on it. we had a hell of a time putting the tree together because Max was hell bent on climbing the thing and knocking all the branches out. She'd slither up there with ninja-like accuracy and speed and attach herself to the trunk so we couldn't pull her out. After a few days of that we had to resort to the water bottle. =( She learned fast though.

Having a tree was really exciting because it was our first year together with a tree of our own. It cost like 20 bucks at rite-aid and is a wee bit sparse, but it dressed up nice. I just love the soft glow of white lights on a christmas tree.

(This is max playing under my mom-in-law's tree. Not much to say about this picture, but I adore it. I think her expression here really captures her troublemaker demeanor. Haha)

 

I got to relive a childhood memory this year as well. Hulu was hosting Nutcracker: The Motion Picture. I remember that we used to have this particular version of The Nutcracker on tape, and I'd sit on the floor and watch it. I distinctly remember having my mom rewind the Arabian Dance part (In this version, the Arabian dance is a beautiful peacock lady that gets carried out in a fancy cage.) over and over again because I loved it so much. It's still my favorite part. Also, I've seen a few different versions of The Nutcracker, mostly on youtube, but no other version has as good of a Drosselmeyer as this one. He's perfectly creepy and awesome and I just totally dig him. Here's the Link to the movie, I highly highly recommend it, even though it's not christmas anymore. The nutcracker isn't strictly a christmas story anyway. At least save it for next year.

 

New Years this year was pretty good as well. I did have a panic attack, unfortunately, but it didn't set in until well past midnight so I got to enjoy the celebration anyway. My resolutions are to try and keep the apartment cleaner, instead of letting it get super messy then spending a whole day cleaning it up again (Yeah, I haven't started on this resolution yet. The house has to GET clean before it can STAY clean, unfortunately...), to make more homecooked meals, both so that I can get better at cooking and also to save money on eating out. I also obviously resolve to stay smoke-free. It's already been a while since I quitted again and I'm pretty much past the hard part.

 

In crafty related news, I still haven't finished that second yellow sock. You remember, the one I said only take another day or so to finish? I've been faithfully carrying it around in my purse with the best intentions of working on it in spare moments. Honestly, I just forget about it. I have been crocheting a bit though. I made a couple cute headbands, wanna see?

 

 

 

The first one was made according to pattern directions from ravelry. The second one followed the basic headband directions from the first, but I used a different flower pattern that came from a crochet motif book I have.

 

Pretty cute, right? I like them.

 

Anyway, talk to you call later.

 

Oh, and also, I had been texting my friend Billy as I wrote this, and he said to mention that he is awesome and likes Charlie the Unicorn.

Cookies and Ornaments

Yesterday I mentioned that I had made snickerdoodle dough and that it was chilling in the fridge. I've never made cookies that had dough you had to chill before. You know, really good cookies are a rarity for me, just ask Dalin, I've made some seriously weird cookies before. Not the least of which was our "UFO" Chocolate Chip cookies. Not sure what happened with them, but when I baked them they expanded and got *really* flat, except in the very middle. They really did look like UFOs. Dalin was a trooper and ate them anyway though.

The Snickerdoodles were a happy exception. They turned out lovely. Wanna see?

Pre baking. It was fun rolling the little dough balls in the cinnamon and sugar, and now I have a little teacup full of cinnamon and sugar left over. thinking about putting it on toast. Yum!

Ta-Da! Perfect cookies! Dalin and the girls I babysit all approve of them. Yay! I really like eating them with Earl Grey tea. I feel very proper, in fact, having afternoon tea with my cookies.

This is the recipe I used:

Snickerdoodles
1 cup margerine
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 eggs
2 1/2 cups flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla
Chill dough. Roll into balls. Roll balls in cinnamon sugar. Bake at 375* for 8-10 minutes.

Couldn't be yummier, couldn't be easier.

In other news, Dalin and I went on a little excursion to the little mall in our town this morning before the Girls came over. We spent a bunch of time in the bookshop loitering around the magazines. There were lots of magazines I wanted to buy, but I was able to narrow it down to just one.

Did you know there are like.....10 cross stitching magazines? I didn't either. I was particularly taken with this one because I was looking for little gift ideas, and I think a box of two or three little hand stitched ornaments were a fantastic idea. I plan on giving some to the mom of the kids I watch. I want to make a couple for myself as well because Dalin and I are going to have a tree this year! I'm pretty excited.

Of course, once I got home I had to start right away:

Last but not least, I made Chicken Alfredo pasta for dinner. If you know me at all, you know this is my FAVORITE dinner in the world. I cooked the chicken with sea salt and a pretty random smattering of good-smelling herbs. That, plus mini shell pasta, plus canned alfredo sauce = one happy girl.

A Nice, Calm Day Here in the Apartment

Hey guys! Amazing news! It snowed last night. Wanna see?

 

That's the corner of my balcony, all sparkley and white. The funny thing is that I didn't even realize it was snowing until I read posts about it on facebook. D and I try to keep the blinds closed after sundown because I get kind of sad and gloomy when it gets dark, especially in the winter. We do make a point of having them wide open during the day. D graciously bought me an early Yule gift of a therapy lamp, but on sunny days I'd rather take advantage of natural sunlight.

The first real sign of proper winter came this afternoon though. If you don't already know, I babysit two little girls most weekdays, aged 2 and 4. Today they came over at two in the afternoon and they both had on matching scarves and hats. They looked very stylish! The Sign of Winter was this: When Tatum (aged 2) came into my house she instantly slipped and fell on her butt on the tile in front of the door because of the snow on her shoes, and within minutes there was snow tracked in all over my living room, despite telling them to leave their shoes at the door. How does that happen anyway? No level of careful shoe removal can prevent it. Slippery shoes and sudden, startlingly cold wet spots on the carpet, real signs of winter's arrival!

Yesterday D and I received a late wedding gift from my Aunt Butler (OMG thankyousomuch). Judging by the slightly battle-worn envelope there were complications in it's delivery. 100 dollars! Longish story short; I bought boots.

Kinda poor picture quality, apologies. Aren't they amazing!? I've been wanting knee-high boots for a couple winters now but never had the money to get them. These were from Payless ShoeSource and were about $50 dollars. There were kinda similar ones at Famous Footwear, but those were over a hundred bucks. Even WITH the gift money, I couldn't justify spending that much on shoes. I think these ones are even better anyway. They have a nice, thick heel that's about two inches, rounded toes that make my feet look adorably small, and a little room in the calves so I can wear them over skinny jeans, but not so loose that they look silly over tights.

Everything is better with new shoes. I admit that I wore them while vacuuming today.

All in all I have had a nice relaxing couple of days. The girls were well behaved and talked my ear off about being excited for Christmas (I am under strict orders from their parents not to mention anything that would lead them to doubt the existence of Santa Claus. As if I would anyway. Christmas died a little when Santa no longer lived. Let them believe!)

I got the kitchen fever today after D fixed the dishwasher. I've got acorn squash with butter and brown sugar in the oven right now and snickerdoodle dough chilling in the fridge. I've found, lately, that I love baking. It makes my house smell warm and cozy and Dalin is always so stoked to come home to cookies. I want to get my mom's flapjack recipe and also try and make some miniature tea cakes. =D

 

Other than that, there's not a whole lot going on. Got a bit more done on my yellow socks today:

 

I love taking knitting/tea pictures.

 

And, before I go, I just took this picture (literally, like ten seconds ago) Max likes to help me blog. Haha

Bye now!

Woah! It's been a while!

Hey guys! It's been a long time since I have written in my blog. Sorry =(

 

Let's see, in my last entry I was whining about being stressed about the wedding. Well, the wedding went fine. I had a pretty intense panic attack the night before, but I got through it well enough. It was so great to see my family and friends again. My dress was absolutely beautiful! It's hanging in my room right now because I can't bear to hide it in a closet.

 

Since my last post, lots has happened. For one, Dalin and I got a wee little addition to our family. Her name is Maxine and she is a Tabbyco kitten (Tabbyco is the term for a half tabby/ half calico cat)

Isn't she precious? She's a little insane, but we love her. She loves to climb into the sleeves of my robe (While i'm wearing it..) and sleep there.

 

Also, Nanowrimo happened. I got really far in my story and word count but got totally thrown off by Thanksgiving, when Dalin and I went to Rexburg to be with his family. So no, I didn't win NaNoWriMo this year. Sad times, my friends. But I haven't given up on my story yet. Hopefully it should be done before NaNo next year. Haha

 

I've been knitting a lot too. Remember those intricate cabled socks I was making for Dalin?

They are finished! Those are my feet in the picture which is why the socks look kind of big. They fit Dalin perfectly. He can't have them until Christmas though. Bwahahaha. I'm so glad I'm so glad I'm done with those socks. They were the first ever non-plain socks I'd ever knit and, though it was a good learning experience and my confidence in knitting really fancy socks was boosted tremendously by them, it just took FOREVER to finish them.

 

So, after I finished those, I decided that I wanted to knit some plain vanilla socks for myself that would be finished in no time.

I finished one of them already. Which means it took me just under two days to knit a whole sock. For comparison's sake, one of Dalin's socks took about a month to knit. Oh instant gratification, I love you so. These are being knit in KnitPicks Palatte yarn in the color called Semolina. I love KnitPicks yarn, it's so cheap and lovely.

 

Anyway, It's now suddenly December so I'm thinking a lot about the holidays. I think D and I will be celebrating Yule this year on the 21st again because I seem to have an adverse reaction to Christmas. I've been sick on Christmas for the past 6 years or something. We saw part of the Parade of Lights in downtown Caldwell last night. we found out about it last minute and only stayed for about half of it because I had forgotten my scarf and mittens and it was just too damn cold. What we saw of the parade was nice though.

 

Also, I found on Hulu the Nutcracker movie that I used to have on tape when I was little. Dalin and I are going to watch it together on Thursday. He's never seen it. I have such happy memories of this movie so I am really excited.

 

Other than that....I'll try to update more often. Poor blog. I love you, I really do, it's just so easy to forget about you.

Photo Dump. Yay!

I've been gone a long time? Why? Because it's the end of Summer and I'm feeling depressed. I'll post a general update some other time. For today...You get a photo dump. A photo dump is where I dump all the pictures i've taken recently onto the blog, with brief descriptions. It will give you an idea of what i've been up to without the hassle of actually writing about it. Yay.

Showing off my new lipstick. =]

Screenshot of my upstairs in Animal Crossing. Someone online wanted to see it. Pretty cute right?

Knitting by the Boise River.

Wee little snake I saw  by the river.

Close up of aforementioned sock. And intense Harry Potter quote. (I'm participating in a HP themed contest on Ravelry.com)

Lace crocheted scarf. I have pics of the finished product, but they were taken at night and don't capture the colors as well as this one.

Socks from previous post, in finished form. They are ridiculously comfy.

 

 

That's all I've got folks.

Knitting and stuff.

So I have been knitting a lot. First I just did some lame dishcloths out of cotton yarn I got for a dollar, just to get my groove back. Then I got a really pretty pattern for a super sexy sweater, aptly called Goddess. It is taking forever though! Right now it really doesn't look like anything, so the picture is just a close up of my pretty stitches with the picture from the pattern so you know what it's supposed to be.

Pretty right? I'm knitting it in Caron Simply Soft, which is my go-to cheap but nice yarn.

So, like I said, this sweater is taking forever, due partly to the fact that the bust is large and flowy and right now I have a grand total of 160 stitches on my needles. Insanity. It takes like 5 minutes to do one stinking row. There is another reason that it is taking me so long to slog through all that stickinette stitch, which is these socks:

I got this yarn from a wonderful lady from the Random Acts of Kindness group on Ravelry. It's so stripey! I love knitting with tiny little needles and skinny-binny yarn. I just dig it, and I'd much rather knit these wacky socks than my sexy sweater. Hm.

Other than knitting, not a whole lot is going on. I have been thinking about pushing the wedding date back, but my mom heartened me and now I think we will be able to still have it on October 17th. It's really stressful! And the more people tell me not to stress about it, the more I stress! It's going to be lovely though. I am willing it to be lovely.

Oh, and I dyed my hair again.

(My eyeball looks huge! Alien??)

Sleepless Nights

The other day, Dalin and I watched an episode of Law and Order, in which a girl killed her school roommate after spending 6 days without sleeping. The sleep deprivation essentially made her go crazy and kill that other girl.

Factoid: Guinness no longer accepts entries of "longest time spent without sleeping" due to health risks.

I have never really had that huge of a problem with insomnia. Usually in the summer I will go a couple nights without sleeping, usually because it's so hot and I can't sleep if it's too hot. This genuine didn't-sleep-even-for-a-second kind of thing generally only happens once or twice a year with me though.

But the past week has been insane. It's like clockwork. Regardless of all my best efforts, I haven't been able to fall asleep or stay asleep for the past...I think it's 5 days now. I don't think i'll go crazy and kill anyone because I usually end up taking naps during the day (At which time I never have problems falling asleep...wtf?) but still. No matter how tired I feel before bed, as soon as my head hits the pillow, I get this creepy crawly sensation all over my body and I HAVE to get up.

Some nights I do manage to fall asleep though, i'll be honest. But only to wake up a whopping HALF HOUR later, and only then be met with the ants in my skin and the traffic in my brain.

I know and utilize all the 'tips and tricks' to help thwart insomnia. I get some light exercise a few hours before bed, I only use the bedroom for sleeping and sex, I put lavender on my pillow, I sip chamomile, I play soothing music, I take a nice bubble bath. Hell, I even used those shitty over the counter sleep aids (yielded nothing but heartburn.)

None. Of. It. Works.

And actually, I take back that comment about not thinking I'm going to go crazy. I am actually pretty sure I've already gone there.

 

On another note, there is a blog I read that does something called 'fiction friday' where, every friday, as the name suggests, she posts a prompt for a short work of fiction that people then post on their own blogs. I thought it seemed like a kind of fun thing to do, but I don't know if it would be boring for you guys. How do you feel about fiction in blogs? I know that there is another blog I read that has semi-frequent posts that are a connected series of short stories, and I personally hate reading them. I think they ruin an otherwise completely fine blog. But then, maybe that's just me (or maybe she really does just suck at writing fiction, who knows?) How do you feel about the prospect of reading MY fiction? Please let me know what you think in the comments.

Good Old Blogger

Man, nutang was not what I wanted it to be at all. I'm so glad to be back at blogger, it's almost weird. I want to have a party or something. All I needed was a pretty new header and a quick change of the colors and I'm all set. This is awesome.

So the other morning I woke up to a call from my mom. My twitter account had been hacked! Someone posted a link to one of those nude webcam deals. My mom was like "So, are you trying to make some extra money?" Seriously mom? Hahaha.

I thought it was a bit suspicious that I had been getting followed by a bunch of spammy looking corporations recently. I figured it wasn't anything though, just normal internet spam. Little did I know.

So to anyone who got that tweet , no, you will not find me on any nude webcams online. Sorry boys.

I deleted that account on twitter and made a new one. Just look up AlekDrake and you will find it. I don't currently have a cell phone, so i'm not tweeting as much but my mom is sending me a used one in the mail and it should be here in a few days.

I just spilled tea on myself. Damn.

It's good to be home, guys. =]

This is the light of the mind/ Cold and planetary.

Does having a Sylvia Plath quote as my title make me cool? I hope so.

I know I haven't posted in ages. In fact, I haven't written in ages. Period. Not here, not in my journal, not on random napkins, nowhere! I feel bad, so i'll do a minddump. This is one of my favorite things to do. You should try it.

Things on my mind

-I wish the text area on my blog was bigger, the skinny column of text makes my posts look too long. Experts say that if a blog post looks too long, less people will read it. Bullet marks remedy this. So there!

-Star Trek is an awesome movie. Seriously. The guy who played Captain Kirk looks just like Emmanuel Moire, and Spock has NEVER been so adorable. Love it. Love it to pieces. Best quote? "Are you out of your vulcan mind?!" Haha, it's funny because it sounds like he says something other than vulcan. Isn't it great when people explain jokes to you? There were actually lots of funny little tidbits, which did well balancing all the action and drama.

-I feel bad that I am so bad at playing the guitar. Dalin is teaching me but I am always embarrassed to practice when he is around and I am too clumsy to really practice on my own so...I'm not getting a lot of practice. My guitar is so cute and lovely and I really want to play well but it is so hard. My hands are small and I can't reach the chords sometimes and...ugh...it's just so frustrating. That I feel like I am disappointing Dalin just makes it worse. He even bought me a blues driver. I want to live up to him!

-I am starting to draw. I got myself a sketchbook and Dalin's stepmom gave me an art kit that she never used (ever! Not even once! Brand spanking new, friends.) It is a lot of fun and I have been practicing so much that I can already see improvement. It's very encouraging. If I ever manage to get a scanner I will be sure to post up my drawings. Just writing about it makes me happy. I am excited to show my dad, who draws as well, my pictures when Dalin and I go visit him at the end of this month.

-After the first week or so, quitting smoking isn't so  much difficult as it is annoying. I think it has been twelve days now. I just don't know what to do with myself when I am fidgety but don't want to commit the time for sewing or knitting or drawing or whatever else. Still though, I am feeling tons better. I am doing crunches whenever the TV is on, during commercials (Great plan!) and I'm saving up for some running shoes, as I don't actually own a pair of shoes that isn't high-heeled. Ha...

-I am very conflicted in the fiction writing department. I have this really tempting idea for a new novel, but I haven't finished editing my last one. Actually, and this is hard to admit, I have barely even started editing my last one. I really wanna start writing again but I know that if I start the new idea, Displacement will lurk in the back of my mind and poke my eyeballs until I feel so guilty that I just stop writing altogether.

-Guitar, drawing, sewing, knitting, crocheting, writing, beating video games, keeping the apartment clean, quitting smoking, exercising....Do I have too many things going on?

-Last but definitely not least, I happen to know that a diamond ring had been ordered and is on it's way. It was supposed to be a secret, but Dalin didn't know my ring-size and had to ask. It's a 5 by the way. It was the smallest size that the ring could be made in. I told you my hands were small, I wasn't just making excuses about the guitar thing.

 

Hmm...that felt good.

In lieu of sanity....

I am still recovering from the panic attack episode yesterday. I am feeling a bit better but I am still rather jumpy and on-edge. Expect a new YAAD post for tomorrow.

So I have been keeping myself busy with things that are at once mind numbingly simple but distracting enough to keep me from having another attack. This is what I have done so far.

This is a nice blurry picture of the progress I have made on my cross stitch project that is destined for my mom. I have got a lot done since I took it to KC!

 

Those are Usagi (bunny) and Alfred (Penguin) they were crocheted by me and Dalin, respectively. They are patterns from the book Amigurumi World. I should have put something in the picture for a size reference. Usagi fits comfortably in my two hands and Alfred is a bit larger.

*note: Amigurumi is japanese and roughly translates to 'stuffed knitted toy.' They are usually crocheted though. Also, Usagi is the japanese word for rabbit.

 

Was I on a japan kick or something? This is my first attempt at Onigiri, or stuffed rice balls. They are super yummy, very easy to make, and VERY filling. A recipe might show up here in the next couple of days. I promise, it's easy, as long as you have the right ingredients.

 

One last picture!

This is Makayden, for those who wanted to know. Isn't she cute?

Later gators.

Like a punch to the gut.

I've been having panic attacks today, one right after another. I am not going to write up a YAAD post today, I need to focus on recovering and jumping right back up, since on Monday I am watching Makayden and I wouldn't want her to see me have a panic attack, I imagine it would be scary for her.

Shit son!

I will own this, and I will watch it every day.

Short Update. Trying to tire myself out for bed.

I should really be getting to bed, I have to be up early tomorrow for my new nanny job. It's the perfect job really, since I get to play like the little kid that I secretly am, and I don't have to face the scary outside world.

 

I can't seem to settle down tonight though. I have been reading a bunch of manga (otaku-hood, here I come!) I am reading both fruits Basket, since dalin was so kind as to buy me the first couple volumes, and Absolute Boyfriend online. So much fun! I should post some pictures of my drawings that I am also working on.

 

Besides that, not a whole lot is going on. Dalin also bought me some pretty silk thread and I am going to try my hand at needlepainting. I am probably going to draw up a pattern of a Daffodil and a Tulip. They are such happy spring-y flowers. I am thinking though that I should probably get some silk thread in purple, because I want to do an Iris in there too. Even numbers of motifs are less appealing to the eye than odd numbers, so I should really do three flowers.

 

Maybe I am over thinking it though.

 

Later, dudes. Alek out.

 

p.s. The new facebook layout is taking some getting used to. I don't know if I like it yet. It's more twitter-like now.

Needles and thread and wool, oh my!

Yeah, yeah, it's been a long time. I know. Lay off. I was raised scribbling in notebooks, it's what i'm used to. It's what I do.

 

I actually have a bunch of pictures to share today! I have been crafting up a storm, let me tell ya! I am taking a break from my cross stitch kit (Which is going to my mommy) and sticking with happy spring-y colors to cheer me up. It's supposed to snow today! Ugh. I made a lot of progress on the xstitch on my mini vaca in KC anyway. And I tend to enjoy the mindless copying of patterns block by block, so it's not like i'm leaving it forever.

 

But first, I want to talk about my trip to Kansas City. It was so awesome seeing my mom and lil bro and meeting Tracey (I approve of her. She is not too serious and reminds me of Joany.) It had been so long since I had last been in a real city. It was a bit of culture shock. I hadn't even seen a black person in months. Haha. It was a little nerve racking being there, I tend to get talked to when I am out and about, especially in larger cities. I have a bit of social anxiety and would prefer to be alone with my thoughts, but once I got past the "this is nuts!" phase, I didn't mind the guys trying to flirt with me on the bus. Kind of a confidence boost, in fact.

 

KC is a pretty awesome place. the library downtown is amazing! It is ginormous and there are lots of little secret nooks you can hide in and not be disturbed while you flip through books. And did I mention the coffee bar? That's right, a library with coffee. I want to live there. KC also has it's fair share of cute little indie shops. I dig it.

 

I had a great time, and that's not even counting the plane rides. Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE flying. I'd fly every day if I could. On my first flight they told us to pull down the shades over our windows so that there wouldn't be glare on the television screens though. I don't understand that at all. Don't those people realize that they are FLYING? How can b-list romantic comedies be more entertaining than looking out the window when you are thousands of feet IN THE SKY? Honestly. (I kept my window cracked open to see. Screw you guys.) I even saw a corn maze from my vantage point in the sky. That was pretty cool.

 

Now on to my amazing craftiness!

 

First up is my apron. When I am cleaning the house or cooking I like to channel my inner June Cleaver to get in the mood. Trouble is, I didn't have a kitschy apron to wear, and everything is more fun in a costume. So I took one of the many tea towels that I inherited from my mom and cut it up (Sorry mom, I hope that's okay. I will be better loved now anyway instead of sitting in the drawer waiting for me to have a tea party)

It looks pretty cute, if you ask me. It is all sewn by hand and I am not terribly confidant in my hand sewing skills, especially with the gathering that I did, which I have never done before, so if I ever manage to steal my mom's sewing machine I will run it through that a couple times for good measure. Now, the tea towel was much larger than I thought it was, as it is usually folded up in the before mentioned drawer. Tea towels are huge! It was the perfect size for my apron. For those who would like me to publish a pattern, here it is. Cut the tea towel in half, that is your apron body. Cut a wide strip of fabric from the end, that is your waistband. Gather the apron body along one end and attach to hemmed waist band. Admire.

 

The second project I am working on, I can't post a picture of. That's because it is going to be a secret gift for Dalin. I will tell you that it is a simple chain stitch motif on a small scrap of linen for him to keep in his wallet to remind him of me. It is a deceptively simple little pattern, as I drew it myself.

 

Thirdly, I crocheted a little beret-type hat yesterday. The pattern is loosely based on one that I found on www.ThreadBanger.com (awesome website, tons of crafts that are not grandmaish at all. It also doesn't hurt that Rob, the co-host, is a total babe.) I started and finished it in one sitting, which is saying a lot because I am not at skilled at crochet as I would like to be. It is all worked in single crochet though and it suitable for any beginner. The yarn is Manos Del Uruguay 100% chunky wool which I got from Ewephoria for 5 bucks a skein because it was being discontinued. I ADORE that bright blue. It makes me happy.

 

I'll post a picture later today. I don't want my morning face on the internet. Haha.

Pulling myself together. Or something.

So the quitting smoking thing didn't work out so well. Though now I can see that my biggest trigger is boredom.

*sigh*

I am definitely going to be smoke free before my birthday. That will mean I have spent a year of my life smoking. It's not that bad, I guess. I think that, for me, it is less an addiction and more an oral fixation. I think it will get easier to quit when it starts warming up a little, because one thing that always works to combat cravings is going for a jog, but it's too damn cold out right now. Though, the people in the apartment below us moved out the other day, so I can do jumping jacks and such now without getting reprimanded or making noise.

I have a couple smokes left in the pack that I have. I am going to give it another go when they are gone.

I just have to stay positive!

 

In other news, the pain in my jaw has all but gone away. I got a night guard at Rite-Aid for a couple bucks. It was awkward to sleep in (It makes me drool. Gross) But it sure helped a lot. My jaw still pops and sometimes gets 'stuck' but I can live with it, as long as it doesn't hurt. Since this whole ordeal I have begun to notice that I do clench my jaw quite often. I don't really grind, but I do clench. Now that I notice it I can stop it when I do, but dang. I never realized how much stress I carry in my jaw. I am so freaking tired or oral issues though. At age 18 I am pretty sure I have seen my fair share of dentist/orthodontist chairs.

 

My writing is so scatter brained. I'm sorry for the lame posts. Really.

 

Oh! I found The Body Sacred, the second book written by the marvelous Dianne Sylvan, at the library! I have been looking for that book everywhere! I have almost finished reading it already. It's so great. I also got a horror novel by James Reese. It is pretty creepy. I like it so far but I can see myself losing interest if I don't read it quickly. When I went to the library I was pretty sure that I had a fine, I had turned in my last books a couple of days late, but I didn't owe any money! It was probably a mistake on the part of the library, but I'm not complaining.

 

I just realized that I left my coffee in the microwave. I'm sure it's cold again. Scatter brained, I'm telling you!

Mysterious jaw pain.

So yesterday I began to notice a mild throbbing pain in my jaw, right where it connects to my ear. I figured I just slept on it funny or Dalin accidentally hit me in the night (Still a likely explanation.)

It hasn't gotten better with time, in fact it has gotten worse. As you probably know, I am something of a hypochondriac and any mysterious ailment sends me into fits of stress caused by nightmares of sterile plastic furniture and men in white wielding sharp things. So these are the things that I think may be causing the discomfort. If I need a reality check, please let me know, but as far as I can see these circumstances seem likely.

1. TMJ. I think I remember my mom talking about this, which may mean I could have it too. According to google, TMJ is a condition that is characterized by painful popping of the jaw when talking/eating ect. My jaw has always popped every so often but it never really hurt until recently. 

2. Wisdom Teeth. When I got my braces off they did an x-ray and said they could see my wisdom teeth getting ready to come up. I seriously don't want to go to the oral surgeon. *Shudder* and I pray to anything that will listen that I will be a special case and that I will not have to get them pulled. But anyway, I read that wisdom teeth can cause this same kind of pain, but I don't think it would account for the popping.

3. Actually I can only think of those two possibilities.

 

It's weird though because the pain seems to deviate sometimes, sometimes it hurts more in my neck and sometimes it feels like a headache in the back of my head. That makes me think maybe I got bumped in the night but...I don't know. I think I would remember if I had been bumped hard enough to cause this much pain.

 

Please, if you know what's going on, let me know.