The Pit and the Pen.

Well lookie here, I got a follower. I don't know who she is but I read through her blog and she sounds just like me when I was in 7th grade.  So here is a quick shout out to Rikki: Don't worry about it too  much. I know that life seems like it sucks hardcore monkey balls right now, but things do get better, and if they don't get better you learn how to handle it and become a better person for the lesson. 

7th grade was awful for me, my mom can attest to that. I felt like everyone in my school (read: the world) hated me and thought I was ugly and stupid and annoying. I am glad I got over that in Middle school though, if I still felt that everyone has the time and energy to hate me I would be in an even worse pit.

Speaking of pits. I had a Panic attack the other day, the first one in months. See, I was writing in my journal about the particular episode where I destroyed *all* of my old journals then proceeded to mutilate my arms with a plastic shaver with the plastic melted off. It was a bad, bad time. I wanted to write about it as a symbol of moving past that part of my life. I never finished the piece though. About halfway through I started panicing and had to stop.

I guess that, though I am working my way out of the hole I lived in for so long, I am not quite ready to look down yet. When I have enough space between me and the bottom, I will be able to finish that story without any physical symptoms, and I will know that I am finally out.