"My faith is sometimes that my faith will return."
I came across this quote a while ago online. It's attributed to J K Rowling, who was referencing something Graham Greene once said. When I read it a light came on in my head. You know when sometimes it's like words or phrases or images can "sing" to you? In the pagan community these moments of enlightenment are sometimes called cosmic two by fours, like the Gods are hitting you over the head with a truth and once you get it you feel a little stupid for having taken that long to listen. I've also heard people refer to these moments as God breezes. However you want to say it, I'm pretty sure this is a universal experience. Since this little sentence resonated so much with me, I want to share what I think it means.
So, let's talk about spiritual dry spells, shall we? I think these are also universal experiences. I don't think anyone can get through a whole life without having a few serious spiritual dry spells. This is when you just get caught up in the day to day point A to point B parade and give little time or energy to deeper matters. It happens. You can't beat yourself up for it. For people like me who are spiritual by nature, it can be pretty difficult to go through these times. A while ago, I'd say at least a year ago, I was struggling with this lack of balance between the spiritual and the mundane. I was actively fighting for my medical health, I was at a time in my life where I had to plan every day how I would handle the anxiety and depression that had settled into my heart and it took all of my energy to stay stable. I didn't have enough energy left over to meditate or look into any new religious ideas or spend any time in devotional activities.
This is when many other bloggers might start talking about how our soul's well-being is supposed to be numero uno on the list of priorities. As ideal as that sounds, I don't think it's practical. It's all well and good to work on coming to terms with ones eventual decline, death, and hopefully commencement into a hereafter, but at the same time, life is happening right now. We may be more advanced than our pets, but we are certainly animals, and our god-given natural instinct tells us to see to our physical well being first. When I was on the debate team in high school, one thing we often brought up in our cases was Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, the foundation of which is the physical self. Without this, none of the other natural rights can be achieved. What I'm trying to say is that first things come first. Sometimes our immediate physical needs is more important than adhering to our normal routine of devotion and thanksgiving.
And that's okay. I promise.
Just because you haven't prayed in a while doesn't mean God has forgotten you. The Divine Spirit, that unnamable God which permeates all things, doesn't have a mind like ours. It can't run out of memory space. Every tiny action or exchange of energy alters the fabric of existence forever, and since God *is* that fabric, of course he knows all about it. I think that, in the same way I am aware that my hair grows faster on the right side of my face than the left, God is aware of the uniqueness that is me, since I am a part of God's body.
We, as humans with human minds, can sometimes forget though. We can't always be aware of everything in the way that God is. So sometimes we forget about the Divine. Of course, this isn't the ideal state of existence, but who can maintain an ideal indefinitely but God?
I think it's important to remember that life tends to go in cycles. You might be in a spiritual dry spell right now, and if you are, just know that it will end eventually. We all go through ups and downs in this respect just as we go through ups and downs with everything else in our life. The important thing is to keep in mind that right now isn't forever.